You've been betrayed by your partner. You know that. Everyone around you has told you to leave. That you are worthy of more. That you can do better.
You know all of that to be true. But something....whether it's low self esteem, a deeply rooted belief that it's ok to be treated this way, or purely your ability to see past people's mistakes, you have decided to give your family a second chance at happiness...together.
Nobody has the right to make that wrong. Only you get to decide what's the right move forward.
And let me tell you why I know that.
My entire childhood was filled with broken promises, physical abuse and loss. I learned to believe that there must be something wrong with me if everyone around me made it ok to mistreat me. You know, can't be everyone else's fault. Must be mine.
As I grew up I allowed physical abuse, intimate abuse, and infidelity to bring me close to ruin.
Along the way I also decided that all of my emotional outbursts and alcoholism meant that I was incapable of handling the reality of life, and that if I only made myself useful somehow, I could feel safe.
There were moments of happiness, and sometimes even security, but overall I lived my life in a constant state of anxiety and just waited for the second shoe to drop.
Like someone is going to hit me, leave me, cheat on me...
All of that came to an end when I decided to move my family to a completely different state. Yes, it was disruptive for everyone. But it was the only way we could actually have a chance at creating a happy life together.
I read once "you can't heal in an environment that hurt you." And I fully embrace this statement. No more triggers of past infidelity, no more people who enabled suffering. No more people who actually caused a lot of the suffering.
Everything brand new. But we both had to be all in and never look back.
I am not suggesting that you move to a new state, but I do believe that life as you knew it has to be over.
You have to kill what has been hurting you, and only take with you what has actually been helping you hold onto each other. Even if it's only your children...and the dog.
And you both have to want it.
Not sure how to get there? Try this couples' quiz that will help you both decide if this life is something you want to do together going forward.
Don't take my word for it...
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